Please do not continue reading if you believe in God

It is with a heavy heart that I can finally say with certainty that God does not exist.....and if God does exist, then I choose not to believe based solely upon the fact that it seems pointless to believe in something that has never proven to exist and allows constant pain and suffering throughout this world.

Unfortunately, throughout the years, I have been proven wrong time and time again regarding the existence of God, and although I have wanted to believe in His existence, it has come to the point of no return on this matter.

I have defended His existence to countless individuals, attempting to somehow make them believe in someone much more powerful than them.  How is it that I have come to disbelieve then?  It falls to the point that there is nothing left for me in which to defend His existence.

If there is something in which I should be believing in, then what is it that I should be basing this belief on?  Is it the multiple terrorist attacks, the random bombings, thousands of lives lost, unexplained deaths and disappearances?.....I could continue, but what exactly would be the point?

I have come to the realization that nothing positive we do in this life matters.....and that there are murderers and criminals walking among us.  Even the good we do yields negative results and there is evil in this world that lives unpunished and unresolved.

Even as I sit here attempting to make sense of everything I have been through and every bit of pain I have been subjected to, there is no real explanation that I may give myself or any other individual who may be reading my thoughts.

As the Earth revolves around the Sun and the days turn into nights, I know that each day I wake up is another day I get to spend with my son and that is the only thing that keeps me persevering and looking forward to the following day.  There is not another thing in this world that makes me happy or brings a smile to my face.  Unfortunately, I know that even as I am grateful for the time I am able to be graced with my son's presence, at any moment I could be reminded of the evil that exists with certainty.  I will be forever thankful for my son and cherish each moment I have with him as I know nothing is more true to me at this point in life than pain.  He is the only sun that exists for me and the reason for the breath that I take.  I know with certainty that if he was to be taken from me, the light within me, no matter how dim, would be extinguished.

I will continue to search as the days go on for a reason to once again believe, although, I am certain I will continue to feel disappointment.  In the end, all my hopes and dreams will be one thing.....dust in the wind.  Here is to hoping my son may have the desire to believe in something that I am now incapable of believing and that someday there may exist some proof of His existence.....no matter how faint.

1 Year!

 

On the March 7th, 2012 I was blessed with the most precious gift I could have ever wished or prayed for. And as I continue to think to myself, "Where did the time go?" I also am attempting to put into words the feelings that I have been building up until this very moment.

 

I really have not stopped wondering to myself how I was so lucky to have received such a wonderful little boy.

 

 

 

God must have been thinking about me a lot that day that He sent Dominic to me, as it seems to me that he was perfect in every way.

 

 

Words are definitely not enough to describe how much I love him.... 

 

And there are not enough minutes in the day. 



Walking!

It has been far too long since the last time I posted any updates.

 

As my son hit the 10 month mark, so began the.......walking!!!

 

I will post videos when I can find where I seemed to put them.

 

I can't believe how quickly he is gowing and progressing.  It seems as if I can't keep up with the little guy these days.

 

He will also be 1 in just under a week....where does the time go?!

 

Pictures to follow when the big day arrives.

 

Until then, I will keep praying for those who are currently pregnant that they are blessed until their big day come.

Teeth!

 

As promised, this is the first picture I was able to get that my son decided to show off his two bottom teeth!  He just continues to amaze me with how quickly he is growing!

 

 

 

 





Almost 8 Months!

As we round the corner to the 8 month mark, my sweet baby boy is taking steps (assisted of course) and has sprouted not one, but 2 bottom teeth.....at the same time!

 

But I couldn't be more blessed.  I know that may sound strange to some, especially those mommies that have children who seemed to learn a different high pitched scream with each tooth that began to present itself.  But my little guy seems the least bit fussy to me.  He seems content to just chew on a variety of objects and drool to his heart's content.

 

I haven't been able to get him to cooperate long enough to snap any memorable photographs of the two teeth invading my son's mouth, but trust me, as soon as I am able, that is definitely a picture I will be posting.

 

I am willing to accept any words of wisdom, though, in regards to various methods to soothe the aches and pains associated with teething for my precious angel.  I have tried applesauce on a washcloth and freezing it, however, my son did not seem to take a liking to this method.

 

On yet another note, my son continues to grow at the speed of light....already in 12 month clothing!  I just can't seem to keep up with him these days.



About to Walk!

Ah where is the time going?!  It seems as if everytime I get a moment to post something exciting that has happened recently, something else exciting happens shortly after.

 

I am still in amazement that my son was crawling around 6 months, but to be standing at 7 months??!!

 

It seems to me that I am having a more difficult time keeping up with him...

 

I am just going to continue to enjoy every single day I have with him because before I know it, I'm sure he will be suprising ME with his walking skills....which may not be too far off into the future!





He is crawling!

I have been so busy lately trying to keep up with the "little" guy, that I haven't had time until now to post some pretty cute crawling clips.

He seems to be so determined....

He is much more advanced than this now, this particular clip was a couple of weeks ago I think, however I am having a little bit of trouble uploading my videos....



What A Blessing!

Well my son will be 6 months old in just two days!  I can't believe how quickly time has gone by!

 

With this milestone fast approaching I thought I would share this video with whoever seems to be enjoying my blog, besides me of course.

 

 

Hopefully you enjoy watching it as much as I did!



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Many Changes

With the passing of days, I wanted to take a moment to speak about how considerably blessed I am.  Sometimes, unfortunately I forget how much I have to be thankful for.

Most recently Dominic turned 4 months....but that was on the 7th of July, which was a couple of weeks ago.  He is quite the little blessing, although, most days he doesn't feel too small to me.

He continues to change as the days go by, and I couldn't be happier.

We also most recently purchased a home!  I am super excited, although, I should probably be unpacking the multitude of boxes that have found their home in the garage for the time being, instead of posting updates on my blog.

I haven't taken any pictures yet, but I will attempt to get some in the next couple of weeks.....

Making the move from Maryland to Washington was somewhat interesting.  Nearly 2800 miles, with a 4 month old who is teething and two dogs, is nothing short of a miracle.  I am happy just to have made it here all in one piece. 

I am definitely 100% content to have made the journey closer to my family and friends.  I know that this is God's plan for me, and I can't wait to see what else He has in store for me and my family.





Almost 3 months

The time just seems to continue to chug along even though I would like for it to pause.....just for a minute, or two....maybe even three.

My son continues to grow by the second and as hard as I try to keep up with every moment, something seems to happen and pass me by with every blink and breath that I take.



God has blessed me with such a beautiful gift.  I can't imagine anything more precious than him and I am so thankful that God has given him to me.

Although I know that I don't deserve it, I definitely can't be happier that I get to spend every waking minute (and then moments asleep too) with my son.  God was definitely keeping my prayers in His thoughts as he blessed me with Dominic.





I only wish that my time spent at home with friends and family had been longer.  I know God has a plan for me too, though.

About 7 weeks

With Dominic's 2 month appointment quickly approaching, I can't help but to stop and take a minute (while I have the time since he is napping) to think about how fast time is really passing me by.  It seems like just yesterday that I was bringing my little bundle of joy home from the hospital, and now he is already growing out of all his newborn clothes and fitting nicely in 3 month outfits.

He is now learning to smile and is holding his head up much better than the previous weeks.  I am so thankful that he is peaceful for the most part, except of course when he is hungry, which seems to be quite often.

I can't help but hope time doesn't continue to move so quickly, or before I know it, he will be enjoying that birthday cake marking his one year birthday.

Today we got his pictures taken and this was my absolute favorite!  I can't think of anything I love more than my son and I can't wait to bring him home to meet his family next month!







3 Weeks

Today my son is 3 weeks old!  I can't believe how fast the time is going by.

He has gotten to such a wonderful place in my heart.  He just can't be replaced.

Some of my favorite moments are to just watch him sleeping peaceful, restful in God's hands....

Although, I love him when he is awake too!

There is nothing I love more than my son.  Thank you God for giving me Dominic!







2 weeks

Today my son is 2 weeks old!  The time seems to just be flying by.  He had his 2 week check up, and is now 8.10 pounds, surpassing his birth weight of 7 pounds 15.2 ounzes.

The doctor says he is growing beautifully and seems to be very healthy.

As the time passes us by, I wonder what he will grow to be.  I could never have imagined the love I could have for someone else...

He is so perfect in my eyes and a wonderful gift from God.  Resting peacefully I can only pray the time does not go by too quickly.



Time Flies

Tomorrow my son will be 1 week old!  It seems like time is just flying by....

I am trying to enjoy every minute I have with him because before I know it, he will be heading off to school.

We spend every minute of every day together.  This usually involves some kind of feeding, sleeping, or changing of numerous amounts of diapers.  Why babies go to potty so many times will  never cease to amaze me.  Too bad I didn't invent the disposable diaper or I would be beyond wealthy at this point.

With him eating too many times to count, I take advantage of this time to build a relationship with him.

I look forward to every second I have to learn about this gift I have been given from God.



March 7, 2012

Let us give glory to God, for He is good!

On March 7, 2012 at 9:22 AM, my husband and I welcomed Dominic Lee Weiss into our lives.

God has blessed me with a 7 lb 15.2 oz, 19.29 inch little boy!

I can't believe he is finally here and I know I couldn't have asked for more.  I thank God every day for this precious gift He has blessed me and my husband with.



I am truly thankful that my prayers were finally answered, and I don't think they could have been answered any better.  I find myself just sitting and staring at this amazing gift I now have.

All the diaper changing, feeding, and lack of sleep is definitely a blessing to me....time I get to spend with my son!

I pray every day that God shows me the way He wants me to go and I thank Him for the friends and family I have in the days and years to come.

13 days

I think it is safe to say that I am officially completely unprepared for the gift that is quickly approaching.

That's okay, though, in the words of some very wise women, both me and my baby-to-be are safely in God's hands, and only He knows the plans He has in store for us.

I continue to go over things again and again in my mind, attempting to search through my brain to see if I may have forgotten something before the baby comes.

I also wonder to myself if there is anyone out there who feels the same way that I do, or is it really just that simple and easy for some people?  A seamless transition from normal day to day life to accepting a wondeful gift of life that is completely incapable of caring for his or herself.

There is a small bit of comfort, though, as the day draws near.  My wonderful and loving husband who has been here for me every step of the way.  Although, at times, I think he may be more nervous and anxious about the changes to come than I am.

3 Weeks

With three more weeks until I get to meet my little gift from God, I grow more and more nervous.  What is God's plan for me?  How will I be able to do everything I need to do to take care of this little one that is fast coming?  I know I will never have all the answers.  I guess I just feel as if I wish I was far more prepared than I actually am.  I continuously have a sense that I am forgetting something that is extremely important.

I know I am in God's hands, although, sometimes, I wish I was more prepared and a little bit more knowledgeable on the ways of motherhood.  Being so far away from friends and family doesn't help any either.  Not too much longer, though, and I will once again be surrounded by the ones I love.

I know that I may never be fully prepared to take care of this gift that is soon to be given to me, but I am hoping that I can at least give this gift everything God has given to me, and then some.  May the baby to come be healthy and full of life.

Trust

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" Proverbs 3:5.  I find myself in a conflict once again to trust in the Lord in this time of trial and tribulation.

Extenuating circumstances led to a five hour visit to the Emergency Room, met with a follow-up visit tomorrow with the high risk obstetrician.

I find myself attempting to accept the fact that I am not in control of even my own being and the precious gift that has not yet fully been given to me is still in God's hands.

I will continue to pray that His plan be fulfilled on a daily basis.  All outside prayers are also welcome.  May God's blessing be upon me in the days to come, ultimately leading to a healthy baby boy or girl.

Conflict

There is nothing more that I want than to have a normal, healthy baby girl or boy.  It seems the closer I get to my due date, the more my patience and faith in God is tried.  I have had several more sonograms than I had originally itended, since the doctor is seeing things she doesn't necessarily agree with.  I am continuing to pray that everything ends up in a favorable manner.  Once again, I know that He has a plan for me and this beautiful gift He has given to me.

Not able to have a baby shower, seeing how I don't really know anyone out here in Maryland, but am definitely planning to visit my family after the baby is born, which couldn't be a better gift for me.

I truly do miss all my friends and family and am hoping to see them soon.