Rounding the Corner

As I round the corner towards my 20th week, I become more and more astounded at the gift of life that is growing so quickly inside of me.  God has given me such a precious gift that it confounds me how I could be so lucky to have been so blessed. While my husband and I wish to remain surprised in this whole experience, there is a small part of me that DOES want to know.

The 20-week ultrasound comes in the next couple of weeks, which means I will be halfway through this new journey in my life.  I grow more excited as the days pass me by, while still having some underlying questions.  I simply try to remember to put my faith in God and that I have friends who are more than willing to lend me their expertise.

After my ultrasound I should have more updates to give everyone.



16 Weeks

Well I am about 16 weeks today.....and counting.  I certainly feel a lot further along than this, but the doctor says about 16 weeks, so that's what I'm going with.

Due for another doctor's appointment in a couple of days to check and make sure everything is working the way it should and the baby is growing the way that God intended.  I am hoping everything comes out fine and all the tests come back normal.  I can only pray for a normal and healthy baby.

I feel more tired as the days go on, but am constantly reminding myself that all this fatigue is ultimately going to end in pure happiness after the baby is born.

Being away from my friends and family during this time couldn't be more difficult, however, I do intend to make the trip home before it becomes too late.  Sometimes being halfway across the world is more than interesting, and you come to realize how much you truly miss the ones you care about.

More to follow as the days pass me by with flying colors.

Babies....

Giving a little update since my last posting.  Still exhausted on a daily basis but have found joy in the little things and have come to enjoy cleaning my house.

The other day I received my baby shower invitation from a friend of mine, and I think I went a little overboard on her gifts lol.  I myself have registered, probably too many places to mention, lol.  Target.com, Amazon.com, and Babiesrus.com.....just to name a few.

There are so many more things to consider than I ever could have possibly imagined.  While I am still very excited, I am becoming overwhelmed with thoughts of cribs, bouncers, blankets, wipes, and diapers upon diapers.  Help!  Then there are so many things I can't eat, and things I had never taken into consideration prior to becoming pregnant.  I am praying God gives me the strength (and the friends) to help me know what to do in the months and years to come.

First Ultrasound

Today I got my first Ultrasound.  It was so exciting to see something so small and yet so precious, growing inside of me.....you could actually see the heart beating!  This was the first time I actually saw for my own two eyes that my husband is in fact very excited.  It is amazing to me that after so many prayers, God has finally answered me with a "yes," and I am beyond thankful.

It has been so long since I have last written, I'm sure there are many things that I have to talk about, but this was the most pressing for the time.  I will keep everyone updated as time goes on, and I will be praying for the best.

A Blessing

It seems God has finally answered my prayers and is blessing my husband and I with a little bundle of joy, although, I do seem to be far more excited than he is.  We are so blessed we have decided that we want to be surprised until the baby actually comes.  So many things going through my mind, so many changes that we will be making over the next 9 months, as well as the years to follow.

I guess the most confusing thing to me right now is.......what to name the baby if it is a girl???  We have already agreed upon a name if it is a boy.  How that worked out I'm not even sure, but we sure agreed quickly.  I am inclined to believe my husband must prefer to have a boy, although, I'm confident he would love either, as this is our first blessing.

Trusting in the Lord has definitely gotten me to this point and I know there is much more trusting to be done.  I will keep everyone updated as time goes on.

A New Life

Today something was sprung on me that I don't understand and I'm not sure I will ever be fully capable of understanding.  Why after so much has my world completely been set in disarray and chaos?  What could I possibly have done differently to change this?  The answer is nothing.  There is nothing I could have done differently, or better, to stop this difficult situation that is now suddenly upon me.  I know that ultimately God has a plan for me and will take me to where He wants me to go.  I will be contemplating these questions as the days go by and I wonder what it is that is in store for me in the future.

Traffic School and My Thoughts

As I sit here in Texas, away from everything I love and am comfortable with, I realize that there is so much for me to be thankful for. It has not even been three weeks apart from my husband and I have missed him from day one......you can only imagine how much I truly miss him at this point. Thankfully, the class I am involved in consumes most of my time and energy, so I don't have much time to realize what I am missing until I lay my head to sleep. I am usually completely exhausted by this time, though, so there isn't much time for me to reflect on everything when attempting to get the 5 good hours of sleep that I may or may not be lucky enough to get.




I pass the time with hours upon hours of homework, and when I am fortunate enough to get some free time, I engulf myself in the inspirational postings of my sister, Marie, and friends Leah O'Connor and Kaylee Hicks. I have to say I thoroughly enjoy reading their postings and feel inspired each and every time something new is posted. I consider myself fortunate to have been blessed with relationships with more consistency than what is normal, per se.




This leads me to another question yet again. What is normal? Today what may seem normal to the majority of people I pass from day to day, couldn't be further from what I want or what makes me happy. I love the fact that I can be at peace knowing that I don't have to be "normal" or "acceptable" to this world, and can be completely content in the thought that "this is my Father's world." I am exactly where He wants me to be and am perfect in His eyes.

My Life in Slow Motion

As I'm sitting on the side of the road with my husband who isn't moving, my life passes before my eyes in slow motion.  I find myself wondering, "How could this have happened?" and "Is everything going to be ok?"  I go over it again and again in my mind, but cannot seem to formulate an answer. 

Yesterday, 6 April 2011, at approximately 3:20 pm, my husband was involved in a motorcycle accident.  I received the call about that time from an off duty EMT who informed me my husband had been in an accident.  My mind began racing and I wondered how in the world this could have transpired as I had just seen him 2 minutes beforehand.

The minute I see him on the side of the road, he isn't moving, and the only thing I can think is, "Is he alive?"  I park my vehicle somewhat in the middle of the road, which thankfully someone else ended up moving out of the way, and rushed to my husband's side, wondering if God had decided it was his time or not.......but although my husband isn't moving, he is talking to me.

I can only get myself together enough to thank God that my husband is alive and pray that nothing is seriously wrong with him.  I continue to talk to my husband until police officers, EMS, and firemen arrive.  Questions and more questions are being asked of me by people I don't even know and simple answers seem complicated.

As they are loading him into the ambulance there is waiting and more waiting until they finally are enroute to the hospital with me following closely behind.  I can't seem to stop myself from thinking about everything that could seriously go wrong.

We get to the hospital, and after waiting for what seemed like an eternity, he finally got into a room and spoke to a doctor, who took him for x-rays....more waiting.  When he got back I couldn't be happier just to see him, all thoughts of what could be, leaving my head for the moment.

For some reason, the doctor decided it was necessary to clean out the severe road rash on my husband's right leg.  I cannot remember a time when I have witnessed or observed someone in such an extreme amount of pain.  Just the sight of the pain he was going through was enough to evoke emotion in even the strongest of people.

When the x-rays were reviewed, the doctor told us that the severely swollen ankle and leg with road rash would take some healing but would be just fine.  The opposite leg, however, told a different story.  The doctor would need a cat scan of this leg.  When the results came back, she told us he definitely had a fracture but would most likely not need surgery.  I felt blessed with this news since the same knee he had surgery on just 5 months ago, would be the knee he would have needed surgery on once again.  I couldn't be more thankful.

At around 9:00 pm we are on our way home from the Emergency Room, and I couldn't help but notice how much more carefully I was driving, all things considered.  I had precious cargo in the passenger seat of my vehicle that I did not intend to lose after the events of the day and how blessed we actually had been up to this point.

All things considered, my husband honestly had an angel sitting on his shoulder during his accident.  I couldn't have hoped for a better outcome, save not having been in the accident at all.  I thank God for watching over my husband yesterday and keeping me once again in the palm of His hands.

Torn

Have you ever been torn between what you want and what may be best for you?  I am contemplating this thought now as I pour out my thoughts onto this electronic piece of paper.  My husband is intent on eventually moving out to Florida to be with his family, while I would much  rather move to Washington so as not to be on the complete opposite side of the country and away from my family.  Being in the Army the past 8 years has definitely separated me from my friends and family quite enough.  However, I want for my husband to be close to his family and content as well.  It seems there truly is no happy medium in this matter, so how do you compromise in order to ensure we are both content?  Just as with every other question I have, it seems there is no simple or easy answer to this burning question I have ruminating through my thoughts on a daily basis.  I want to be supportive of my husband and ensure his happiness, but I definitely don't want to be separated from my family either, as I have been for some time now.

Blessed

"Every cloud has a silver lining," (John Milton).  This definitely rings true for me, especially in the past couple of years.  On a day to day basis I find myself attempting to look at the little things I have in life to be thankful for.  I would start by saying how thankful I am for my husband and how much I appreciate and love him.  Today, we both had the option of getting a brand new phone and he once again put me before himself.  He opted to get me the new Thunderbolt which is definitely one of the nicest possessions I have ever had the pleasure of owning.  The capabilities are far beyond my simplistic comprehension.

Thinking back on the past couple of weeks, I have definitely not been showing my appreciation for how thoughtful he has been towards me.  I have completely fallen short of putting the needs of my husband before my own and have come to realize exactly how much of a sinner I truly am.  I couldn't be more in need of the word of God and help from those that surround me and know far more than I do.  I once again remind myself how lucky I am to have found him and wondering how in the world I have been so blessed.  I guess since today is April 1st, April Fool's Day, this is my daily reminder of how foolish I truly am at heart.

Another Question

I find myself asking yet another question that seems to have no answer.  No matter what I have done the day prior or how much sleep I am blessed to get, I constantly feel tired, exhausted, or drained upon waking.  I guess the most confusion comes to me as I am not sure what I am doing (or not doing) that is causing this tiresome feeling I am getting.  I have even prayed about this and continuously question whether or not I am somehow being punished for something I have done or some sin that I have committed.  This baffles me, though, as I know God EXPECTS for us to sin on a daily basis and He has already died for each and every one of our sins so we could be saved.  I am certain, just as most of the other questions that resound in my mind from day to day, this question does not have a simple answer, and may have more than one solution.  May God give me the patience and peaceful rest in the nights to follow that I may wake refreshed and prepared to fulfill the plan that God has for me.

The Plan

As I continue on my path of life, I have to continuously remind myself of the fact that God has a plan for me and that it is in a constant state of revealing itself to me.  I read in the Bible at one time that God wants for us to be fruitful and multiply.  I'm pretty sure it doesn't say anywhere in the Bible, "We are to be fruitful and multiply.....except for Emily Rose Weiss."  So why is it that in attempting to fulfill this plan that God has for each and every one of us that I seem completely unable and incapable?  It is a question that I will continue to ask myself until given this answer that seems so simple to me, and yet I know the answer is far more complex than just a "yes" or a "no."  Unfortunately those things that we want the most sometimes take a while to receive, and it is not as simple as the idea of "ask and it shall be given, seek and you shall find, knock and it will be opened unto you."  I continue to travel back and forth between the idea of why those around me are continually blessed with this gift, and I have yet to receive the gift God has bestowed upon others.  Just another reminder to me to trust in the ultimate plan God has for every one of us from day to day.

School and the Path of Life

It seems forever since the last time I posted....probably because it was.  Recently I found out I would be attending Traffic Accident Investigator school held at Lackland Air Force Base in Texas.  I would love to say I am excited, as I have never really been to that part of the country, but I think I'm more nervous than anything.  A little out of my comfort zone and away from everything and everyone I know and care about.  It seems since day one of enlisting into the military it has gone this way for me, carrying me on the winds of uncertainty, a journey unknown.  I have to continually remind myself that there is a plan for me, and although I may not completely know what it is, I am certain there is definitely a plan for me, and for that I couldn't be more thankful.  In time, I am hoping the plan may eventually be revealed to me.  Until then, I will appreciate that what I have and those circumstances I have been put into that may mold me into the person I am meant to be.....and send me in the direction that I am meant to go.